Let’s make something clear: no matter how good of terms you are on with your soon-to-be ex-spouse, divorce is almost never completely amicable. Sarasota divorce lawyers know this. However, there are definitely some things you can do to ensure that things stay more amicable than they otherwise may be.
1. Acknowledge that you are emotional.
Divorce is one of the biggest stressors in life, and while you might feel relieved about being divorced or totally indifferent, on some level, you are hurting. That is perfectly understandable. You want to be aware of that emotion, however, because you do not want your emotions to cause you to make poor decisions. One of the best things you can do is bring people into your life that are neutral and who can see your situation from afar. These people can advise you. A divorce lawyer, for instance, is one of those people you want in your corner.
2. Understand that the legal process will take time.
It is so easy to get married and very difficult to get divorced. Unfortunately, when you are already going through a very tough time emotionally, you have to deal with the legal system. It can really make you even more stressed. The best thing that you can do is to hire a divorce attorney that you feel comfortable with. Choosing the right person will help walk you through the process. Without that stress, you are less likely to lash out at your soon-to-be ex.
3. Try to have a civil conversation before heading to attorneys.
You absolutely need legal advice. But it might be wise to try to talk about things before you go through the process. Are you planning on each taking your own debts and splitting property equally? Or does your spouse have other plans? This will also help you gauge what your spouse is thinking and can help you and your divorce attorney better strategize.
4. Do not badmouth your spouse.
Especially if your spouse committed adultery that led to the breakdown of the marriage, you might be very tempted to tell everyone how bad your spouse is. It is imperative that you don’t. Vent to a therapist or a divorce lawyer. It will get back to your spouse, otherwise, and this can lead to your spouse making things very difficult for you as you week to get divorced. The other key here is not to post anything on social media. Even if you delete a post, someone could have taken a screenshot. Try to keep things civil.
5. If you have children, don’t use them as pawns.
If you have children, custody issues are typically the most complicated part of the case. This will be very difficult on both you and your spouse. It is important to not badmouth your spouse to your children, or to use children as a bargaining chip or pawn. Remember, this divorce not only affects you but it affects them as well. Try to keep things as amicable as possible. A good divorce attorney can help you to achieve that.
